Real talk: I've been questioning the church in which I was born and raised for probably like, 4 years now. If you didn't know that, blog readers, now you do!
My temple recommend is up for renewal at the end of this month, and I had this feeling of urgency that I needed to set 30 days and have everything figured out by the end of them. So I thought I would make this month's 30-day focus church stuff and work on my church related goals, too (numbers 31, 43, and 87, in particular).
We got asked to give talks (new ward and all that), and I was assigned "acting in faith." It became more of a talk on "acting in the absence of faith" and I straight up told them I am struggling. In being so uncomfortably honest, I felt like I took control of my church experience, and after that, I felt like I didn't need to decide so urgently. I don't have to know everything right now, and I can just do what I'm comfortable with. I especially don't have to do the things that are culturally and not doctrinally required. I'm going to take my time and sift through things and figure out what works for me.
One of the counselors mentioned that day that they needed to get my temple recommend renewed and I politely told him I wasn't sure if I cared to have one right now. I'm just gonna do me.
Thanks for your support, dudes and lady-dudes. If you want to talk about things, I'm more than happy to chat. We'll return to your regularly scheduled light-hearted updates next week.
1 comment:
"I especially don't have to do the things that are culturally and not doctrinally required."
This! So much this! I'm so sick of those two things being conflated. It's been important for me as well to recognize that I don't know everything, and that it's ok.
I've typed like three or four more follow up attempts to that thought, and deleted them every time. Words are hard sometimes. :)
You do you, Sara!
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